Memorial Service After Lockdown

Memorial Service for Lost Loved Ones During Coronavirus Lockdown

Covid 19 has robbed so many families not only of loved ones, but also of the intimate rite of passage of a fully attended funeral where all the family and friends can offer their love and support to the bereaved. Families and friends have been forced to stay apart it, alone with their grief, and unable to pay their final respects to the deceased. By only being able to hold a small, restricted funeral you may feel like you haven’t been able to commemorate your loved one’s life properly in the way you would have liked.

When Covid-19 restrictions lift, and our freedoms return, many families may choose to hold a memorial service for extended family and friends, to honour and remember the person who has passed away.

A memorial or commemorative service can take place anywhere and at any time after death, even several years after the funeral, if so desired. Some choose the anniversary of the deceased death or birthday. There are no rules that you need to follow when planning a memorial service, although it is always a good idea to bear in mind any wishes of the deceased.

In contrast to the sad and often sombre funeral, which takes place so soon after the loss of the loved one, in many ways a memorial service is much more a celebration of the deceased life—and is sometimes named a Celebration of Life Ceremony for this very reason. It can be a healing way to finally publicly express and acknowledge the love for the deceased, especially if the deceased knew many people.

The main difference between a memorial service and a funeral is that there is no body present, although sometimes the mourners may choose to have the ashes present. The service is usually organised by a family member or close friend of the deceased.

The service can be held in a place of worship, or in a more non-traditional venue. For example, if the deceased was a keen golfer, the chosen venue could be their local golf club. Family homes are often chosen. You may wish to include the scattering of the ashes, or a tree-planting ceremony. It can also be popular to invite mourners to donate to a particular charity, perhaps one of special significance to the family, or your loved one.

You can opt to arrange everything yourself or, depending on your religion or where in the world you live, appoint a funeral service director. After the service you can offer refreshments, similar to a wake after a funeral.

Going through the process of arranging a service some time after the funeral can be emotionally therapeutic. There is less stress and no need to rush the planning. You can be creative and do justice to the occasion, so you can give your loved one the final tribute they deserve.

You can choose a personalised theme inspired by your loved one’s life focussing on their interests and achievements, with photobooks, storytelling, videos, music, and decorations, with readings or speeches by those close to the deceased. The atmosphere is less formal than a traditional funeral and the ceremony can be uplifting and much more relaxed.

It’s a good idea to prepare a memory table or board with carefully chosen photos and memories you wish to share. There’s a wealth of ideas on the internet on how to plan your loved one’s memorial service giving you time to create a beautiful ceremony in honour of your loved one.

Lastly, be sure to buy a Memorial Guest Book (sometimes called a Condolence Book or Book of Condolence) and leave it visible on a small table for guests to write in. If you are offering refreshments after the service you can pass the book around the guests from table to table. Guests will write a few words about their relationship with the deceased and express their loss, which can bring comfort to the bereaved. The Memorial Book will be a beautiful, meaningful keepsake for the family, as well as providing a record of those who attended the service.