Funeral Etiquette

Funerals are solemn occasions that demand respect and sensitivity. As such, there are certain customs and etiquette that are expected of those who attend them, and it is important to understand them to navigate this difficult time with grace and compassion. Here are some key points of funeral etiquette.

  • Dress Appropriately
    When attending a funeral, it is customary to dress in a manner that shows respect for the occasion. Dark, muted colours such as black, navy, or grey are considered appropriate. Avoid wearing bright colours, flashy clothing, or anything revealing. However, sometimes the deceased may have been known for their outgoing, upbeat personality so on certain occasions it may be acceptable to wear some colour. If in doubt check with the relatives.
  • Arrive on Time
    It’s important to arrive on time for the funeral, at least 10-15 minutes before the scheduled start time. This will allow you to sign the guestbook and pay your respects to the family (although sometimes it is only placed for display after the service has finished).
  • Follow the Order of Service
    During the funeral service, the funeral director or officiant will lead the service, and you will be guided to follow along with the order of service. This may include prayers, songs, or other customs that are specific to the deceased’s culture or religion.
  • Show Respect During the Service
    During the service, it is essential to remain quiet and respectful, avoiding any distractions such as using your cell phone or chatting with others. Remember, this is a time for mourning, and your behaviour should reflect this.
  • Offer Condolences
    Offering condolences to the family members is an important part of attending a funeral. It is appropriate to express your sympathy for their loss with a simple message such as “I’m sorry for your loss” or “Please accept my condolences.”
  • Sign the Guestbook
    Signing the guestbook is a simple but meaningful gesture that shows the family that you were there to support them. You can write your name and a brief message of condolence or a memory of the deceased.
  • Attend the Reception
    If there is a reception or gathering after the service, it is appropriate to attend and offer your condolences to the family members. This is a time for the family and friends to gather and share their memories of the deceased. The funeral guest book, or condolence book, will usually be taken to the wake, so you may choose to sign it then.
  • Send Flowers or a Donation
    If you cannot attend the funeral, it is appropriate to send flowers or a donation to the family to show your support. This can be a meaningful way to let the family know that you are thinking of them during this difficult time.
  • Follow the Family’s Wishes
    If the family has requested no flowers or a specific dress code, it is essential to respect their wishes. This is a time to honour the wishes of the family and show your support in the way they have requested.
  • Stay in Touch
    After the funeral, depending on your relationship with the deceased and their family, it is appropriate to stay in touch with the family and offer your support as they continue to grieve. This can be as simple as sending a card or making a phone call to let them know that you are there for them.

These are just a few guidelines for funeral etiquette. It’s essential to remember that a funeral can be a highly emotional and personal experience that requires sensitivity and respect, so it’s always a good idea to be considerate and polite towards all others in attendance during this time.
By following these 10 key points of funeral etiquette, you can navigate this challenging time with grace and compassion, showing your support for the family and honouring the memory of the deceased.

Angelis Publications has a range of Guest Books suitable for funerals and memorials: